taken out of conTEXT

Jul 06

• B: this was the shortest conversation in america!
• Brandi: lol i'm sorry! people in china probably have shorter conversations

May 26

“psh, you’re on your knees more than the pope” — brandi

May 04

“You’re antisocial because you’re a shut in and you almost got eye raped by a landlord.” — Brandi

Apr 17

• Beth: I don't like the way shea butter smells on my skin.
• Brandi: I don't like Shea bitter period.
• Beth: I don't like shea bitter either.
• Brandi: Fuck yourself. A lot.
• Beth: I would if I wasn't broken.

Apr 16

• Brandi: IM GOING TO SMACK THIS WOMAN I WORK WITH!
• B: Why!!!!
• Brandi: She won't shut up. She obviously doesn't realize that no one gives a shit about her or her fucking slutty ass daughters.
• B: Ask for nudes

Apr 11

“Would you like to put your milk in my fridge?” — B to Brandi by accident.

Mar 24

“Why would you ever know what a wound tastes like?” — Brandi

“Seriously! thank god you’re not venomous!” — Brandi

Mar 10

“Did you blindfold him?” — Brandi

• Brandi: Cunt gravy may not be the turn on you intend it to be.
• Beth: Sadly.